In Sanity We Trust
Diversions: The Battle of the Sexes
Some more sillyness from the annals of the internet. Most of these dealing with the eternal battle of the sexes.
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very
sexy nightie. "Tie me
up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I
won the damn lottery!"
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver'slicense. First, of course, he had
to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with
the letters: C Z W I
X N O S T A C Z. "Can
you read this?" the optician asked.
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must
tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly,
her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he
said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many
at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we
going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.