In Sanity We Trust

...Broken News...
December 2005

Seasoned Gratings

I've grown accustomed to hearing some strange items coming in from my antipodean homeland, such as the time the drunken boyfriend of the bride's sister bit the groom in the scrotum during a wedding reception brawl in Christchurch. Reminders perhaps, that life in New Zealand is possibly still just a wee bit beyond the pale of civilization. It was little surprise then to read of a rampaging gang of drunk Santas causing mayhem in Auckland during the Christmas period. Local newspapers reported that a gang of around 40 Santas hit the streets, looting, urinating on cars and assaulting security guards, this all being a continuation of a global trend known as Santarchy, a swipe essentially at the over commercialization of Christmas. Event organizers however deny that it was a protest of any sort and that it was just a bunch of people having a good night out, spreading good swill as it were.

Check out for in depth coverage and discussion concerning the Auckland Santas and the global phenomenon known as santarchy.

Happy Hogmanay! (burp)

Kung Fu Hustle

Stephen Chow's "Kung Fu Hustle", is an engaging amalgam of slapstick comedy, kung fu mythology, choreography and music. It's an all round package which delivers a punch! Not to be missed.

Births, Deaths and marriages:

John Lennon left this mortal coil 25 years ago yesterday, cause of death, multiple gunshot wounds. Elton John is getting married (to a bloke), and a number of babies were born, on this day, December 10th, 2005. This is all just mindless twaddle really. On with the show.....

Master Criminals

Melbourne, Australia. Austin Perrot, 35, managed to clock up 17.6 million frequent flier miles from various airlines without ever leaving the ground. Having discovered a loophole in the system while working as a Singapore Airlines customer services supervisor, Perrot accumulated the points and sold them off to family and friends. His dastardly scheme simply involved creating a fictitious passenger and crediting it with accumulated mileage, to the value of A$295,000. The judge unfortunately didn't think he was so clever and sentenced him to 6 months imprisonment for fraud.

Best Lines

Last week saw the passing of a sporting legend. George Best was known in his day as a dazzlingly gifted player though also for keeping the English tabloids occupied with tales of boozing, womanizing and fast cars. He also displayed a clever self-effacing wit leaving some memorable quotes.

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered".

"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep".

"He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right".
(on David Beckham)

"I used to go missing a lot...Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World".

"I was in for 10 hours and had 40 pints - beating my previous record by 20 minutes."

(on a blood transfusion for his liver transplant)

Best also made it into the lexicon of Cockney Rhyming Slang, as in whilst playing football:

"Over 'ere son, on me Georgie" ("George Best" = Chest)

One from our silly games department. The dangerously daring mission of twelve farm fresh eggs to boldly go where no egg has gone before.

Nov 2005   Jan 2006

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